Charlie's Angel
by silversurf4
Summary: Crews and Reese never quite make it to the scene, other things happen. Many thanks to my Beta's JJ and Jo. Anything misspelled, overlooked or left out is all mine. Characters are not.
1. Chapter 1

They were on their way across town on another homicide. This trip, however, would take a really long time; it was rush hour and despite the fact they had lights and sirens in their unmarked, Reese steadfastly refused to use them, insisting the dead guy would still be there (and still be dead) when they got there. Reese was already in the car, from which she phoned him on his cell and arranged to pick him up out in front of the station, her clipped words and intense tone brooking no disagreement. She was in an exceptionally foul mood and Charlie therefore had lots of time to consider why.

It was Monday, so there was that. It was early, another downward tick on the Reese emotional stock market. She was only half way through her first cup of coffee, which meant cranky in general, but Charlie felt there was more. With Reese there was always more.

Her lean little jaw was tightly set and her teeth clenched so hard he thought she might break them. Then, like the sun breaking over the horizon, it dawned on Charlie, Reese was in pain.

Her dulled reactions, tenseness and agonizing slowness - all spoke of someone whose body hurt - all over. He considered her level of fitness and decided it couldn't be simple muscle aches from over doing it at the gym. Charlie had seen Reese work out; while she seemed to enjoy her punishing routines, she was not likely to have hurt herself – at least not this badly. Not this kind of hurt. That left only one option, someone else had hurt Reese and the mere idea of this caused darkness to cross Charlie's countenance. His own mood and morning took a dark turn at the idea someone had hurt his….partner, his…. Dani.

The fact she hid it from him, meant it was someone he knew. He deliberated quietly, narrowing the list of possible suspects to just two: Jack Reese, Bank of LA conspirator, robber and murderer and Dani's father; and Kevin Tidwell, their Robbery / Homicide Squad Captain and his partner's current illicit love interest. Charlie couldn't remember the last time he'd lost control to the extent he literally saw red – actually he could - it was the day he dug a hole and then filled it up, instead of the alternative, killing Kyle Hollis with his bare hands like he wanted to.

Today his whole landscape was tinged blood red.

To relax, Charlie studied his partner in minute detail. Her dark sunglasses hid her eyes, but he had learned how to read his partner in any situation. He looked at the tight grip she kept on the steering wheel, hands at ten and two, and the stiff motion of her shoulders as she changed lanes and the ways she used the mirrors entirely instead of looking behind her. Normally, Reese was restless, she shifted uncomfortably from being confined to the car in heavy traffic, but today she was still – not calm, but still - stiff.

As they sat through the third cycle of the same light, Charlie softly asked her to confide in him, to trust him. "Reese…. "He began, slowly drawing her name out like a question. Gone was the singsongy, light tone Charlie used when teasing her or intentionally annoying her with idle chatter and nonsense to pass the time.

She did not turn or look at him, she simply sighed, "yes Crews," knowing what was coming next, Charlie Crews needling her using some inane topic or none at all. She knew that he knew and it was conversation she didn't want to have with him.

"Tell me who hurt you," he demanded softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"How did you…." she began angrily and then stopped herself. "It's nothing," she dismissed his concern.

"No," he said sharply and a little louder, "no one gets to hurt you Reese," Charlie said darkly, "now tell me or I will find out myself and make them pay," he promised in a low tone bordering on a growl. He found himself raging on the inside at her pain and his inability to protect her.

"Crews," she complained, "can we not do this knight in shining armor thing? I can take care of myself"

"All evidence to the contrary," he remarked darkly. "But if you don't want to tell me, that's okay…." he paused for a beat before adding firmly, "but I will find out."

Again the sound of Reese's sigh filled the car, but this time it was coupled to an almost undetectable shudder, except that Charlie heard it and in that moment he was certain he could feel his own heart breaking.

"Pull the car over, Reese," he ordered as he opened his cell phone. Charlie called dispatch and advised them to send another team to the scene; he was pulling them off the case.

"Detective Crews," Dani barked as loudly as she could muster, "that is not your call."

"It is today," Charlie said as he dared her to try and stop him.

"I don't need someone else who thinks they know what's best for me, Crews," she said tersely, pulling car to the curb. She winced as she positioned her body to face him. "I am your senior partner and you will get back on that phone and put us back on that call."

"No. No I will not," Charlie defied her, an action that would normally force him to incur her wrath, which Charlie actually kind of feared in some small way. His small partner could be quite fierce and intimidating, but she was not so today.

Charlie reached for her glasses and that was when he noticed her lip was bruised and split. It was not simply swollen; she'd been struck - hard. Reese flinched as he raised his hand and he knew it was a man who'd struck her, but he'd already deduced this fact. His hands shook as they reached for her glasses again, she ducked her head.

"Reese," he said softly, but firmly, "let me see, honey."

His use of the term "honey" caused her head to snap up but the sudden movement cost her. There was a sharp intake of air and her teeth bit into her lower lip as she tried to stifle the sound of her pain. Charlie gently drew the glasses from her glittering dark eyes to reveal a deep purple mark on her cheek below her eye.

"Tell me who did this to you," Charlie said in barely contained rage, the emotion in him boiling over into his normally calm, patient voice.

"No," she hissed and averted her eyes from him.

Charlie's left hand lifted a stray strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear, as his thumb drifted softly across her cheek to catch a stray tear, which escaped her.

"Crews - don't!" Dani warned him, her voice breaking as she reached for his hand. Charlie flattened his hand and stroked her cheek as he asked her again, "Who hurt you, honey?"

"So help me god, Charlie – you call me honey one more time…"she began and then trailed off knowing from the widening of his eyes she'd mistakenly called him by his given name. "Shit," she swore softly and silently her tears began to slide southward, wetting his hand and splitting his heart in two.


	2. Chapter 2

Charlie's Angel - Chapter 2

What followed in the next few moments was a terse disagreement with Reese over visiting a doctor, which doctor and when. Charlie insisted now. Dani wanted to tough it out, but this was something she needed and Charlie would not compromise on. Dani staunchly objected to seeing a doctor period, but was skeptical though approachable about Crews' alternative to a "real doctor".

He was absolutely immovable and Dani, sensing this, leapt at his option regardless of her trepidation over his contacts from "inside."

Charlie suspected her objection stemmed from the fact that any doctor on the Department's medical coverage plan had to report domestic abuse, which would bring unwanted attention. But he said nothing further of his suspicions. Because Kevin Tidwell was currently the frontrunner in his suspect list for two reasons; one, the good Captain had not blinked (or objected) when Charlie pulled them off the case and two, Dani would have told him, if it were her father. Dani _really_ didn't like her father and that bore closer scrutiny, _just not right now_ Charlie thought.

He convinced her to let him drive, which in and of itself was a feat for which Charlie teased he should have "alerted the media." He steered the car to a rundown building in the meatpacking district, in the oldest part the city. There was a tenseness to Dani's movements; a stiffness that was beyond the pain. It was fear; Charlie noticed it immediately and sought to reassure her.

"Look," he counseled, "I know this guy from inside. He's a good doctor Reese. Westfall did 15 for insurance fraud; he's a crook, not some back room abortion doc." She eased a tiny bit, imperceptibly to anyone else, but Charlie noticed it.

"Besides," he added, "anybody who hurts you has to answer to me." He grinned at her like he might actually enjoy that part.

As it turned out Westfall was a decent doc, other than not having high-end diagnostic equipment like an MRI, he did a thorough job of examining her and patching her up. She was somewhat impressed that he diagnosed a cracked rib without even asking her to take off her shirt like most men would do - just to get a cheap and easy look at her naked.

What she didn't like was that contrary to most doctors, Westfall only talked with Charlie. They conversed in hushed tones, which no matter how hard she listened she couldn't make out, annoying her and making her head hurt worse.

Charlie lifted his chin gesturing at her, shook his head in annoyance and then stuffed a wad of cash in the doctor's pocket. The man shot Charlie a dark sideways glance, grabbed a hypodermic and a bottle of yellow liquid and walked to Dani's side. "Ass or arm?" he asked.

"What?" she barked. "I don't need any damned shot. What's that for?"

"I thought I was the doctor here," Westfall smirked. "Ass or arm, young lady?"

Dani shot a glare at Charlie knowing he was somewhat responsible, and shrugged out of her jacket; she pulled her shirt to the side and bared her shoulder for the needle.

"What's that for anyway?" she said more softly to the man with the large needle. Needles scared Dani in a way that no knife or gun could, and they had since childhood. She paled and then looked away, as the needle punctured her tricep.

"Tetanus, " the doctor said glumly.

"Tetanus?" Dani swung her head back too soon, noting the needle still embedded in her arm, she looked away again quickly.

"I don't need a tetanus shot for a cracked ribs," she groused.

"Detective Crews, you never mentioned your partner was so charming and had such extensive medical knowledge," he tossed the wry comment back at Crews. Charlie just smiled.

"You'd better come here now," he called to his former cellmate from Crescent City.

Westfall reflected on the pair. He'd patched Charlie up, more than once, to save the tall, red haired kid, from those philistines in the infirmary. The young man lived, matured and survived to fight another day, as would the young woman who fading fast in front of him. It wasn't any vaccine he'd given the girl; it was a fairly fast acting sedative, against his better judgment and with a lot of convincing from Crews.

From what he could tell, Crews' young lady didn't have a concussion, just a nasty headache and a stubborn streak. Charlie told him she'd only rest if the good doctor gave her a little pharmaceutical assistance.

Dani blinked several times and shook her head as her world swam. Charlie replaced the doctor at her side, she couldn't tell from the form in her rapidly darkening vision, but from the scent of his cologne. She reached out to steady herself and found his sleeve in her hand; under the sleeve was Charlie's lean forearm. She tried to stand, sliding off the table and as her legs gave way - Charlie's arm encircled her waist to keep her upright.

"You bastard. You drugged me," She slurred, trying to focus her dark eyes on him and failing; her eyes as unresponsive as her legs.

"Yep," Charlie's lips fairly popped his admission, without any hint of embarrassment. "Only way you'd rest, honey. I know you." He spoke in a low tone in her ear. "Now hang onto me so you don't fall," he warned as he lifted her small frame and carried her to the waiting open car door.

"That is going to be one pissed off wildcat when she wakes up," Doc Westfall chuckled. "Bet she's a pistol huh?"

"You have no idea," Charlie replied.


	3. Chapter 3

Charlie's Angel - Chapter 3

The ride to Dani's house was quiet and Charlie slid the Zen tape into the player to keep his mind off how small and frail his partner seemed belted in the passenger seat beside him. He relaxed his chokehold on the steering wheel as the soothing voice on the tape spoke to him in measured tones.

_Consider the sunlight. You say it is near, but follow it and you can__not catch it. Think it far away, and it will appear before your eyes. Follow it, behold it – it escapes. Run from it and it follows you. You can neither possess it nor lose it. This is the true nature of all things; therefore treat them all as ethereal as sunlight._

_It is both unborn and formless and forever, indestructible. It does not belong to a category of things, it is neither old nor new, long nor short, hard nor soft, heavy nor light – it transcends all limits, measures, names, traces and comparisons – so too – is your mind. _

_Your mind is like the sun in the sky. When the sun rises and illuminates the world, darkness remains; when the sun sets, darkness still remains. The phenomena of light and dark alternate, but the nature of the void remains; so too is the enlightened, bright mind in the world – darkness and the void remain – all are part of the Way. _

Charlie punched the tape from the player and considered the lesson. Sleeping quietly beside him in the car was the woman who had become as essential to Charlie as sunlight. She colored his world with both her darkness and her light. Without her, all he noticed was the ever-present void. He could neither chase her nor catch her. Dani Reese, and his relationship with her, defied all attempts to define it. She was beyond comparisons, and the only fear he had was of losing her.

He pulled to the curb outside her house and patted her pockets looking for her house keys. Once he found them, he pocketed them and realized although it was entirely unceremonious, the best way to get her in the house was to sling her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry.

He leaned her inert body over his back, placing her hip on his left shoulder and unbuckling her belt. She was light, flexible and out cold, which was a good thing because _awake she'd have probably shot him by now_, he thought idly, as he fished her keys from his pocket and unlocked the door to her dark and quiet house.

Charlie carried her still form to the bedroom and set her gently on wobbly feet, talking to her softly. "Honey, wake up. Can you get undressed?"

Dani shook her head either trying to clear it, or telling him "no", but she made no effort at a verbal response. He gently maneuvered her until she sat on the bed; her head was cocked at an angle examining him as if she were deciding if this was a bizarre dream.

He reached for her jacket and she knocked his hand away and began unbuttoning her own shirt, but quickly lost focus. Charlie talked to her very patiently in a gentle low tone explaining what he was doing and trying to keep her focused on him, as he slowly removed her jacket, shirt and pulled out the Ace bandage Doc Westfall had given him to wrap up her ribs.

Now was as good a time as any he thought, she was upright, compliant and her senses dulled. He wrapped the tan bandage around her torso, amazed at how much of it there seemed to be. He reasoned that she was much smaller than most people and the bandage went a lot farther on her. Most of this thought was a deliberate attempt on his part to keep from thinking about her soft skin, and the tantalizing citrus smell of shampoo from her hair, as her head now rested on his shoulder.

A sharp intake of breath from her brought him back to reality. He froze and Dani's head lifted from his shoulder; she hurt and he'd done it. Then her breathing resumed, she reversed her head and her lips rested against his neck.

"Okay, not so tight," he said more to himself than her. Dani murmured her agreement against his neck as her breath warmed his skin. Charlie was rapidly losing control of the situation and Reese was nearly unconscious. He wasn't entirely sure how she always got the better of him, even when doped up and barely upright, but he just accepted it now.

He pulled a t-shirt from a nearby drawer and pulled it over her head, she was still examining him quizzically and for the moment silently.

"Honey, put your arms in the sleeves. Help me out," he coached. She complied and then reached to touch his face, her eyes glassy from the sedative and the pain underlying that relief.

"Charlie?" she questioned. "Why are you here?"

"You know why I'm here honey," he told her patiently. "I'm taking care of you."

"I don't need you to take care of me," she said trying to sound angry, but only succeeding in managing lost and scared.

"I like taking care of you. It gives me something to do," he joked.

"Don't do that," she chided slowly.

"What? Take care of you?" he asked. "I like watching out for you, Dani."

"Don't make fun," she said seriously.

"Lie down and take off your pants," he directed, earning him a fierce scowl through the haze of drugs. "I won't look and once you're in bed, I'll leave I promise." She considered his promise, found him trustworthy and inclined her head to instruct him to turn around. She did it all without uttering a word and it made Charlie smile knowing he got it, got her, in that way.

When he turned back around she was wrestling with the comforter, and her dexterity not being what it normally was, losing. He wrapped his hands around her slim waist and whispered into her hair, "let me help you." Remarkably, she did just that and slid under the covers, sighing as her head hit the pillow and her back and shoulders finally relaxed.

"Now before you ask, I'm not going to read you a story or sing to you," he joked again, but she was already asleep, giving in to the pull of a warm bed, the strength of drugs and her trust in the man who watched over her.


	4. Chapter 4

Charlie's Angel - Chapter 4

She was finally asleep; her fitfulness giving way to a relaxed, peaceful slumber. He watched her features free of frowns, scowls, arched eyebrows and Reese's patented menacing looks. Charlie meant to remind her that he no longer felt her looks "menacing", having long ago figured out his fierce little partner far from having a heart of ice, was something of a soft touch. She just hid it beneath a thick layer of skepticism and walls that made Pelican Bay look like a country club. Dani kept the world out with her own personal prison made of walls no one could scale.

The doorbell rang and Charlie leapt off the couch to keep whoever it was from ringing again and waking his partner slumbering in the next room. He yanked open the door to find Kevin Tidwell on the doorstep, leaning into the door frame, like he expected to kiss his little 5'1" brunette girlfriend when she opened the door. It made for quite the awkward moment.

"Captain…." Charlie drew the title out like a question. "I don't know how to break this to you, I'm flattered, but I'm actually into girls – really, really, really into girls," he bantered, trying to turn what was going to be ugly - lighter.

"Crews…wanna explain what you are doing in my girlfriend's house at this time of night?" Tidwell said snidely.

"Funny you should ask," Crews began, "I was gonna ask you what you were doing at my partner's house at this time of night Captain," he challenged.

Where's Dani?" Tidwell said, pushing past Crews into the house.

"C'mere, let me show you," Charlie whispered and put his finger to his lips to quiet the tone of Tidwell's voice. He led the way to Dani's bedroom, where she slept quietly. Charlie softly rested on the bed at Dani's side and lightly used his fingertips to brush back her dark hair from her cheek, exposing the ugly bruise that covered her cheekbone.

Dani stirred slightly, her eyelid's fluttering as she reached for him with her voice, "Crews?"

"Shhhh, honey. Go back to sleep," he said very quietly and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her temple. Tidwell's eyes darkened at the intimacy of Crews' gesture.

They left the bedroom and an uncomfortable silence descended upon them.

Charlie cleared his throat and asked what he wanted to know. "You wanna explain to me how she got that bruise?"

"Where the hell do you get off Crews? That's my girlfriend in there and you got no business here. I don't know what it is that you think you know, but you need to just back off," Tidwell said angrily.

"What I think I know is this…." Crews began slowly with his voice low and tone dangerous, "most women are abused by their domestic partners."

"Okay, look that's insulting on a number of levels," Tidwell hissed at him "First, domestic partner? Come' on Crews what the hell? Two, do I seem like the kinda guy that needs to abuse women? And "C", what the hell are you doing here?" he finished in a raised voice.

"You know what's wrong with that response Captain?" Crews began in the tone he used exclusively with perps, "one point only…. you have yet to deny that you hit _my _partner," Charlie said drawing himself up to emphasis the height difference between them.

The argument was interrupted by one very pissed off and slightly disoriented Dani Reese. They both noticed her at once and stepped apart. "You" she pointed at Tidwell "out" and "you.." she said narrowing her eyes at Charlie, "kitchen, now."

"But…." Both men started nearly simultaneously and then threw each other a dark look at the synchronicity of their speech. Dani just scowled at both. Tidwell sighed heavily and slammed her door on the way out. Charlie followed Dani into her kitchen, where he found her filling a glass with tap water.

"Why does my mouth feel like cotton?" she asked without turning around.

"Reese….I…."

She turned to face him and Charlie was overwhelmed by the impulse to gather her into his arms, enough so that he physically shook the feeling off like a dog with an itch.

"What is wrong with you?" she scowled at his actions. "Do you always have to act like a freak?" she glared "Are you going to answer me?"

Charlie stared, but said nothing, prompting Reese to query him again with raised brows and her own dark stare. He swallowed hard and decided to take the safest way out "No. No I don't think I will."

"Fine. Then get out," Dani ordered.

"Sorry, partner. No can do. Doc said possible head injury and you can't be left alone," he smiled tightly, knowing it was not going to please her.

"You don't know that I have a head injury," she argued.

"You don't know that you don't," he countered.

"You never would have let him drug me if you thought I had a concussion, Crews," she countered her wits returning.

"I'm not leaving you," he said solidly, adding a smile to soften his intransigence. They locked eyes, but she blinked first.

Charlie crossed the room to her and kissed her gently on the forehead. "Go back to bed, honey."

She started to tell him no, not to call her that and a host of other complaints, but he stopped them all with a finger to her lips and a deep look into her eyes – a gaze that forced her to look away. Crews had a way of looking into her so deeply Dani felt he could see her soul and that frightened her more than losing an argument to him. She took her glass of water and retreated to her bedroom.

Charlie slipped off his shoes, removed his loosened tie, hung his jacket over the back of a kitchen chair and got comfortable on his partner's couch.

It was early morning when she crept into the room so quietly he didn't hear her. She sat next to him and her scent woke him. "Reese," he said sleepily.

"Why are you here, Crews?" she said softly.

"I…. uh….. You're my…"his mouth snapped shut as his ineffectual answers just sounded stupid. Her hand on his chest made him look down, she leaned closer, her dark hair obscuring her face, until she looked up at him again.

"Why are you here, Crews?" she asked again – closer now, much closer. _How'd she get that close that fast? _He wondered, as he reached to tuck her hair behind her ear and grazing her cheek with his thumb in the process.

This time when he refocused on her, she was whispering across his lips, "Charlie, why are you here?" His senses were in overload, his heart pounding as he reached for her with his lips. Her name left his lips as a sigh, "Reese," and just as their lips met – Charlie woke up.

He blinked several times and twisted his head as a confused look crossed his usually imperturbable features. He was certain she had just been there; he could taste her lips, smell her shampoo, feel the warmth of her hand over his heart, but as he looked around, he found Dani Reese sitting solidly in an armchair across the room from him sipping coffee and eying him with a sly smile.

"Reese?" he said.

"You said that already," she demurred, clearly enjoying his discomfort.

"Crews" she sighed, climbed to her feet, snagging another cup of coffee and handing it to him "I'm going to shower – you should too. Go home. We have to be at work in an hour."

Charlie shook his head and looked from her to the coffee and back. He still could not get past the feeling of Dani close to him. He was still wondering why he dreamt about kissing his partner, it was just a dream, right? But why?

"Go on," she coached. "Go home, Crews."

All the way home Charlie tried really hard not to think about Reese in the shower, but he failed miserably. He flashed back to the shower in that crack house on their first case together, when she'd been coated in drugs and panicky.

Charlie had never sensed Reese out of control before or since, but that day her fragility touched a nerve in him. He wanted to shield her. He wanted to protect her. He wanted… Charlie knew what he wanted, he wanted Reese and that was what his dream was telling him.


	5. Chapter 5

Charlie's Angel - Chapter 5

New day, new case, Reese with coffee, not well, but better, Charlie decided. She turned to face him in her rolling chair, as he approached their conjoined desks. Yesterday, she couldn't turn, this was progress.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied succinctly.

"Let's stay close to home today, let your body mend some," he tried.

"I'm fine," she bit back at him with sharpness in her voice. He looked somewhat offended and her look softened and she sighed. "Look. I don't need looking after, Crews. I can take care of myself," she tried to mend fences. After all, all Charlie Crews had ever done was "be there for her" – through thick or thin; he was mildly insane, but eminently dependable. Charlie never left her hanging.

His reply was an off-handed shrug and she actually felt bad. "Come on. We need to knock on doors in the neighborhood from yesterday's murder. Jones and Esposito are tied up in autopsy and with evidence all day. I told them we'd canvass the neighborhood."

She paused a beat at her partner's lack of enthusiasm, adding finally, "I'll buy you fruit, Crews." Charlie smiled tightly and rose, grabbing his jacket.

"Did you want me to drive? On account of you not feeling so…." Crews began.

Dani shot him a dark look and shook her head at him. "No? Okay, well, you can't blame a guy for trying," he joked as they got on the elevator. "I really am an excellent driver," he continued.

"Yes, Rain Man, I'm sure dad lets you drive on the driveway," Dani joked back.

Charlie, having spent the better portion of the past decade in prison, failed to appreciate the pop-culture reference and stared at her quizzically. "It's from that movie? You know? The one where Tom Cruise had a brother who's… Oh, forget it," she sighed.

Charlie waited a moment and then deadpanned, "Reese, who is Tom Crews?"

She didn't answer, but their pattern of behavior was back and Charlie was glad to have his Reese on the mend and back in the car.

The murder was in a rundown section of the city with old warehouse buildings being converted for walkup apartments, it was riddled with dark, narrow alleys and alcoves that made Charlie edgy for no particular reason. Reese wanted to split up, cover more ground, but Charlie didn't like the idea.

Ultimately, Reese won. _Who was he kidding? Reese always won _he thought, wondering why that was and if it could be a Zen koan. It was as unanswerable as "knocking on the sky and waiting for the answer" but took his thoughts far from where a koan should.

He trudged up the sidewalk, happy that he'd at least gotten her to concede to taking opposite sides of the street so he could see her at all times. Of course, he didn't tell her that. They neared the middle of the block, getting no answers from the occupants or no response at all from their knocks, when Dani disappeared down an alley and Charlie's heart leapt into his throat.

He crossed the street quickly, stepping off the curb without even bothering to check the traffic and was nearly run down by a man in yellow Pontiac Trans Am which had seen better days. The man cursed and blew his horn and Charlie hopped around the hood and squeezing between two cars parked at expired meters on the opposite curb, entered the alley across the street.

Dani was halfway down the alley, looking for all purposes like a bird dog on point. Her energy and effort trained on a charcoal grey panel van parked up the alley, idling. There was movement in the van as weight shifted and Crews could see someone behind the wheel, but couldn't make out man or woman. Dani neither saw nor heard him, she only saw the van.

He rapidly closed on his partner and the van, a function of both his longer stride and desire to be there – beside her. By now, her hand was riding up her thigh reaching for the holstered side arm at her waistline under her right arm. Something was wrong. Charlie picked up the flash of the reverse lights as the driver cycled from park to drive, blasting right past reverse and registering the roar of the eight cylinder engine just a half a second before the van lurched forward – at Dani.

He moved faster now, like a blur. She broke leather and drew a bead on the van, but no bullet could stop 4,000 pounds of hurtling steel. Charlie wrapped his arm around his partner's waist and lifted her off the ground like a small child; his momentum directing them towards a recessed doorway at the side of the alley. He heard rather than felt her protest and flinched as the one shot she was able to get off smacked into the windshield of the van. The sharp retort echoed off the buildings. The doorway darkened and sparks flew as the van struck the building and glanced off the brick.

It was over in an instant, but seemed like it lasted for days. Charlie's back was to the open alley as he stood between her and the threat. He held Dani tightly against the wall, pinned by his body there and her head gently cradled against his chest. He could smell her shampoo again and feel her breathing heavily against him.

"Get off me Crews," she demanded, shoving, but Charlie stayed still until she stopped fighting.

"Tell me that you're okay, honey," he said in a very low voice.

"I'm fine," Reese continued angrily. "Just let me go."

"No," he said firmly.

"No?" she questioned "No? What the hell do you mean no, Detective?" Dani struggled for footing, literally and figuratively. She looked up intending to glare at him to find tears in his eyes.

"I will never let go, Reese," Charlie said softly, but patiently. "I will never let you get hurt, I will never let you fall - I will never let go of you."

"I'm sorry, okay. Jesus, I mean you saved my ass, so I'm sorry, I just want to get out there and get this fucker, Crews," she rambled.

"I know, honey," was all he said. Dani cocked her head to the side at him and shot a devilish smile at him.

"Anybody else calls me honey and I knock them into next week, Crews… what the hell makes you so special?" She asked him.

"You love me," he told her plainly.

"I what?" she said shocked at his brashness.

"Or maybe it's that I love you?" Charlie continued like he was talking to himself.

They were still face-to-face, chest-to-chest, in the darkened doorway as she asked him what she wanted to know all day. "This morning? When you said my name? Were you dreaming about me?"

He absently brushed hair from her face, noticing the bruise under her eye again and touching her with a feather light brushes of his fingers. "Why won't you tell me who did this to you?" he questioned, ignoring her question.

"Because I'm afraid of what you'll do," she said honestly, as his touch became a caress.

"I will hurt him, when I find him," Charlie promised again.

"I'm not afraid for him, I'm afraid for you Crews," she confessed. "I'm afraid you'll kill him and they'll lock you up again and I'll never see you." The intimacy getting too close, Dani diffused the situation adding, "Then I'll have to break in a new partner," she rolled her eyes, tempting him to smile, but he did not. Charlie stayed intent and serious.

"Yes," he said.

"Yes. Yes, what?" she asked shyly.

"Yes, I was dreaming about you," Charlie answered, still looking deeply at her, into her.

"Oh…" Dani blushed and ducked her head.

Charlie continued in a whisper. "I dreamed your hand was here," as he placed her right hand over his heart, and held it there with his left. With his right hand, Charlie knuckled her chin higher to capture her eyes.

"Charlie…." she started and then stopped as his eyes again widened at her inadvertent use of his given name. "I don't think we should…."

"You're probably right. You're always right. But haven't you ever just wanted something so bad you couldn't stand it," he talked across her lips, just brushing them with his, as he spoke.

"Yes," she mumbled her agreement and assent all at once as she reached for his lips with hers.

As her lips closed on his, Charlie groaned slightly and pulled her closer; then he kissed her, tasting her lips and wetting her mouth with his hot tongue. His kiss became deeper, but more languid, slow and excruciatingly personal. It tore down, pushed over and blew away all her carefully constructed walls.

He explored her as she opened to him, taking his tongue into her mouth and their breath mixing. Dani could feel the strength of his arms wrapping her tightly in his a tender embrace, careful not to hold her tight enough to bother her rib.

Hearing the sound of a siren approaching, they reluctantly moved apart. Dani immediately felt the loss of his warmth and had to fight the inclination to step back into his embrace. He straightened his suit jacket and stepped aside to let her back into the alley.

There would be statements and more canvasses about this mornings shooting. There would be paint transfer scrapings and tire wear impressions, all the residue of the van's attempt to run her down. But the one thing that surprised her most was the serene calm of Charlie's blue eyes as they smiled knowingly at her for the remainder of the day. She was no longer angry with him, recognizing he could not control his impulse to protect her anymore than she could her urge to protect him from himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Charlie's Angel - Chapter 6 **

_(With special thanks to Jo Taylor - my own special fairy god something & beta - who keeps me honest when it comes to the 3 C's - continuity, content and commas)_

To Dani it seemed the day dragged by, Charlie's eyes beating down on her warming her like the sun on a winter day. As they wrapped up paperwork, every time Dani got a chill from the A/C vent that blew directly onto her desk all she had to do was lock eyes with her partner and the warmth emanating from his eyes warmed her. Her cheeks and neck flushed recalling his intensity in the alley that morning. It was overwhelming the power of her response to him and the amount of intensity he could convey with just his eyes that unsettled her. She both adored it and detested his effect on and power over her.

Charlie, for his part, was uncharacteristically quiet and productive. They finished the mountain of paperwork much earlier than they'd estimated. He offered to drive Dani home, but she declined, not trusting herself to be alone with him after the intimacy of the past two days. She drove home alone and her dark house seemed somehow more empty and cold than usual.

Thirty minutes after she arrived home, Dani was watching a plastic container rotate in the microwave, when her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID – when she saw it was Tidwell she almost let it go to voicemail, before deciding this was a talk that they had to have.

"Hey," she answered.

"Hey, babe," Tidwell breezed into the conversation. "Whatcha doing?"

"Uh…making dinner," she answered tersely.

"Okay, so how about some company?" He said inviting himself over.

"I'm not up for company," Dani told him honestly.

There was a long silence at his end, which ended with Tidwell delivering an ultimatum. "Look, we need to talk. Your partner thinks I hit you Dani. How come Crews thinks I hit you?"

Dani really hated ultimatums, but said nothing. Tidwell's comment and question continued to hang in the air.

"You mind telling me where you've been going the last week Dani?" Tidwell asked softly. "Who've you been going there with? He the one who hit you?"

Dani's annoyed sighed was the only indication she was still on the line. Tidwell waited.

"Are you gonna talk to me?"

Dani tried to explain in her own way. "Remember how I told you that I screw up when things are going good?"

"This is that?" he questioned.

There was a long pregnant pause during which Dani said nothing.

"And you think I won't forgive you?" he continued.

"I don't want you to," she said flatly and without a scintilla of emotion.

Tidwell knew he should not to press her, but he wanted to clear the air between him and Crews. She had to be the one to correct her partner's misperception.

"Okay…but I need you to square things with your partner. I can't have one of my Detectives thinking I beat my girlfriend up. I have a reputation to protect, Dani."

His reference to his reputation rankled her. "Your reputation can stand up to screwing a subordinate, but not beating a woman? That right, Captain?"

"Do you want this to be over?" he asked, his voice laden with regret and sadness.

"Yes," she whispered back.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'll respect your wishes, Dani." Tidwell's voice broke as he finished. "I thought we were good together. I really liked you, Dani. Maybe even loved you, babe. But I can't do this for both of us. If you have to go out and find some guy who'll hit you… I can't do that. I won't do that to you, Dani." She could hear his tears come and she bit her lip holding back her own. He didn't deserve this.

"I don't know how to make you happy," Kevin Tidwell finished and ended the call.

"No one does," Dani said to the dead line. She dropped her phone into the trash and pulled a clear bottle of Stoli from her freezer and a highball glass from her cupboard. She sat at her kitchen table contemplating the pair of them – her and Tidwell, her and Crews, the crisp, clear Stoli and the clean glass. Of her options, the liquor was the least threatening.

She knew it was bad for her, but she just needed to be away from all of it and this took her away – away from regret, away from Crews' smoldering looks, away from expectations and disappointments – it was instant relief as it burned a trail down her throat and her tears trailed down her face – she barely noticed them.

Tidwell thought about his fragile relationship with Dani Reese. He knew he should not have pursued her. He'd heard the stories and knew her tragic past. He should have realized you can't ask a woman carrying that kind of guilt to engage in a secret relationship. It wasn't fair to her. Tidwell realized that if he really did love Reese, he had to find someone she would let help her, even if that someone wasn't him.

Three ex-wives taught him women come and go, but you can't force someone to love you - or to trust you. Dani Reese however, desperately needed someone to trust; unfortunately, the only someone Tidwell could envision was Charlie Crews.

Tidwell was damned sure he didn't want to call Crews, but after ninety minutes, he came to the conclusion that if he really loved Dani he couldn't let her self-destruct, which is what she was doing. Dani Reese had a reputation as "damaged goods". He'd heard the rumors, but she was on the mend and doing so much better when Kevin Tidwell arrived on the scene. He had only seen a glimpse of her relapses and he was never entirely sure what caused it, but it was still hard for him to believe she'd walk away from him to a guy who beat her, but that seemed to be happening.

This was dark and to beat back that kind of darkness you need a warrior, a hard, dark man - a man like Crews. He dialed Crews number and waited.

"Crews," came the response.

"Crews, I need you to go to Detective Reese's house and check on her," Tidwell told him.

Charlie's tone hardened to a sharp edge. Tidwell could envision Crews' body tensing as he asked, "what happened?"

"I don't know, I just know I can't make her happy and she deserves someone who does." He sighed in resignation. "Crews?" he added, "I never hit her, I wouldn't do that - she's just been disappearing at night this last week and I don't know where she goes."

There was a long pause as Charlie considered the man's words and deeds, assessing if he believed him or not. He knew that he disliked Tidwell, but part of that dislike, Charlie realized, was jealousy. He'd envied the Captain's relationship with his partner for far longer than he'd let himself acknowledge.

Clinically, he knew that it was easier to believe something negative about someone you dislike, but he continued to be skeptical that Dani was backsliding into her old ways. She'd come so far in the past two years, he thought.

"Crews?" Tidwell questioned, "you still there?"

"I'm on my way there now, Captain," Charlie told him, all business.

"Thanks, Crews." Tidwell swallowed what little pride he had left and gave the man his appreciation for taking on something he seemed unable to, namely the protection of Dani Reese.

Charlie almost felt sorry for the man and scrambled to show a little humanity, all this personal interaction was still new to him. All those years in solitary confinement made Charlie's social skills somewhat rusty. "Captain? I'll take care of her."

"You do that, Crews. You do that," Tidwell said, withdrawing from the field, admitting his failure and, conceding that Crews' link with Dani was stronger than his, he ended the call.


	7. Chapter 7

**Charlie's Angel – Chapter Seven**

_(A__gain with special thanks to Jo Taylor - my own special fairy god-something & beta - who keeps me honest when it comes to the 3 C's - continuity, content and commas)_

Charlie dropped the phone onto the seat beside him. He sat in his darkened car outside Dani Reese's house, where he'd been for a couple hours now. He tried to shake the feeling he was stalking her, but that was what it felt like - to him.

His relationship with Dani Reese was balanced on the blade of a knife. She was a very private person and pushing her would cause her to shut down, shut him out - and that Charlie did not want. But if the Captain was to be believed, Dani was struggling with her internal demons again and Charlie knew what that fight was like.

It was a knife fight - dark, dirty and with no discernable rules. Luckily, Charlie was a knife man himself, not by choice, but out of what seemed like a lifetime of practice.

He knew calling would not do it - Reese would not answer. She could be incredibly stubborn and intractable when she wanted to be. Hell, she could be that most of the time, but it was one of the many things he loved about her. He couldn't very well break in, so that meant he had to talk his way into her house. That would not be easy, he reasoned. She'd made it abundantly clear she wanted to be alone when she left the station without him. His lips still burned from her kiss, he could still smell orange and swore it was her shampoo on the wind, but she was not there.

As luck would have it, his thoughts were interrupted as a yellow cab pulled up outside, honked twice and Dani Reese emerged from her house and poured herself into it. Charlie's jaw dropped when he realized she was going out. Clever girl, he thought, not driving, but that, he reasoned, meant she was already drinking. He dropped his head and shook it in disappointment. This was going to seriously suck, Charlie realized.

He waited for the cab to pull down the block and edged his dark car out behind it, tailing her to a club called, appropriately, "Sin City." Dani left the cab and walked in like she was on a mission - and maybe she was. He parked down the block and hugged the shadows to the entrance out of habit, more than necessity. He smiled politely and held the door for a couple leaving.

It only took him a moment to spot her at the bar. She'd already found a mark; a handsome, dark man with a thick head of hair and a very obvious wedding band. He was buying Dani drinks and looking her up and down like a cattleman does a steer at an auction. Betcha he thinks this is his lucky night, Charlie thought.

Dani looked at herself in the mirror behind the bar, her eyes sad and disconnected. Charlie watched her countenance and considered that she appeared like she felt - damned, though he could not envision what for. He recalled what the girls at the wedding murder had said about Anna Silvers – that she seemed to be "punishing herself". Was that what Dani was doing? And why – he wondered.

The man was loud, boisterous and impressed with himself. Dani looked bored and slightly angry. Charlie had already decided there was no way that cretin was putting his hands on her, his shirt felt hot and suit too tight as the man leaned in and placed his mouth on Dani's neck. She just belted back another shot and suppressed a shudder.

Charlie leaned against a wall, unobtrusively observing his partner. He snagged a longneck from a waitress' tray as she walked by, while he loosened his tie. He intended it to slake his thirst, well aware beer wouldn't come close to satisfying him. As the crisp $50 hit the tray, Charlie said softly "keep it" and watched distractedly as the waitress' dirty look morphed into an appreciative smile. He barely saw her, and couldn't describe her beyond 'female' if his life depended on it; all his attention was focused on the short, dark haired woman at the bar, in her tight jeans and leather jacket.

The handsome man, Charlie figured him for a "Joe", slid his arm around Dani's back and he watched her shudder with revulsion, but did nothing as the man's hand slid southward. He knew she felt what the man was doing because she broke contact with her image in the mirror, just before the hand reached her ass. She shook her head unconsciously in the negative and the man grabbed her by the hair and kissed her hard.

Charlie watched Dani flinch as the brutal kiss aggravated her busted lip and at that moment he saw red – not pink, not mauve, blood red – he crossed the room in five steps and yanked the man from the bar stool.

Once he was clear of the bar and Dani, Charlie unleashed a punishing right hook that broke the man's nose and opened the floodgates, blood poured down the man's shirt. He was a stocky guy, about 6'2", and easily had 40 pounds on Crews.

Weight and strength, however, do not compare to sheer blood rage, which is where Charlie Crews lived in that moment. Not jealousy for the man touching Reese, but rage for him hurting her. Jealousy took time for him to consider, rage came to him like a bolt of lightning the minute his partner flinched. This was the bastard who hit her – him or someone like him. They needed punishing and this guy? Well, he'd do.

Dani was stunned at the speed of Crews attack and had yet to register it was him. Charlie's face was set in a sneer, resembling a snarling animal, as the handsome dark haired man charged Charlie, lifting him off his feet at the chest with a football tackle and driving him into the wall behind the bar as people grabbed their drinks and fled.

"Joe", as Charlie decided to call him, was as strong as a bull and once the initial shock wore off, his hands which were the size of sledge hammers, delivered a couple of strong cracks to Charlie's jaw and was aiming a blow to his mid-section when the bar went entirely silent as the sight of a pistol cocked to Joe's head froze everyone.

"Let him go," Dani Reese pronounced through gritted teeth.

"Joe" released Crews, who slid slightly down the wall before righting himself and standing erect. "What are you doing here?" Dani hissed at him as she lowered the gun.

"I saw her first pal," Joe taunted. "You can have her tomorrow night," the man jeered at him and Charlie lashed out with a vicious jab to the man's eye.

"Crews," Dani barked. "Stop it."

He looked at her again with those luminous blue eyes and her heart just couldn't take it. She simply turned on her heel and walked out.

For a long couple of seconds no one moved, then Charlie turned to follow his partner and the bar fell away from him as he walked back into the darkened city street. He looked left and saw nothing, but the bouncer gestured to his right and he could make out the angry, determined walk of his partner down the block.

He caught her in half a block and fell quietly into step with her.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot you," she shot the rapid-fire question at him, annoyed at the lack of cabs on the street at this time of night. Charlie grabbed her elbow and wheeled her around to face him. She instinctively raised the pistol and drew a bead on his chest, her dark eyes dangerous and the look she gave him fierce and mildly terrifying.

Charlie swallowed his anxiety and stepped closer, placing the barrel of her pistol against his heart.

"Go ahead," he taunted, "if it will help, just shoot Dani."

She actually seemed to consider doing just that for longer than Charlie thought she would, before dropping the pistol and telling him so. "I'm not going to shoot you, Crews. Just go home, leave me alone."

"No" he said simply. "I won't do it. Whatever this is, whatever you need, I won't leave you alone. You're my partner and I won't do that."

"Don't give me that crap." She turned and advanced on him. "You didn't hit that guy for me – you hit him for you. I'm tired of being something men fight over. I'm just…" she trailed off.

"What? Just what, Honey?" he quietly inquired.

"Not worth it," she pronounced.

"Is that what you think?" he asked softly. "You know, you actually amaze me at times, Reese. You may be the dumbest person I've ever met if you can't see what I see in you," he said angrily.

"You just wanna fuck me," she taunted, taking herself close to him, under his chin, in his space. "That's all guys ever want – to fuck me."

"Is that what you think I want?" he said breathlessly, placing his hand over hers on the now forgotten pistol. If she wanted to play, he could play he reasoned.

He leaned very close, his hot breath on her ear and in her hair at the neckline. He lowered the timbre of his voice until all that remain was a deep, gravely and slightly threatening tone and spoke to her as his lips whispered across her skin.

"That word," he refused to say it, "doesn't even come close to describing the things I want to do to you, sweetheart," he taunted deliberately. Two could play at this game.

"Tell me what you want, Charlie," she said seductively as she reached up with her lips and captured his bottom lip in her teeth. His body responded to hers, his breath deepened, his heart raced and he desperately wanted to cover her lips with his. His other hand even reached for her unconsciously before he forced himself to back away.

Charlie teetered precariously between desire and concern, but his maturity and discipline overcame his libido.

"I want you to give me this gun," he said with a deep commanding voice, barely over a whisper. "Give me the gun Reese and let me take you home."

Dani withdrew slightly and looked him in the eye.

Men didn't refuse her; when she turned on her sex kitten voice she was virtually assured a night of meaningless sex. It was rote. It always worked. Crews just smiled a tight smile at her and closed his hand tighter over her pistol. She looked down and let go of the gun. Charlie took the gun and put it in his coat pocket and turned her gingerly around by the shoulder and steered her up the street to his car.

What she failed to realize was that Crews didn't do meaningless - not with her – she meant something to him and he wasn't going to take that free shot. He would wait and make her come to him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Charlie's Angel – Chapter 8 **_(Thanks to my beta - Jo Taylor for making everything make sense)_

She slept in his giant bed, dwarfed by the array of fluffy pillows and buried in the warmth of his duvet. Charlie stayed awake, watching her and thinking about them. He stood in front of the large window of his bedroom, his back to the city below. He stood there most of the night. Normally, he liked to look out the window and into the city below, but nothing there held his interest on this night. Tonight he was singularly focused on his partner and the future he didn't believe in.

Seated meditation was considered optimal for centering oneself, but tonight Charlie found himself content to stand, balanced lightly on the balls of his feet, watching the rhythmic breathing of his partner. Watching her still, sleeping form, at peace for a short time was equal to meditation for him. Despite his better efforts to free his mind of all thought, his consciousness invariably returned to the small, troubled woman in his bed, his mind and firmly ensconced in his heart.

Both were very damaged people; the fact they connected at all was pretty amazing. The odds that he would fall in love with her were downright astronomical. Yet here they were and here they would stay, unless he could figure out what it was that made Dani Reese sabotage her own happiness.

Shrinks were out of the question, so it fell to him to figure out. Charlie ran his hand through his short red hair knowing he was out of his element. The young woman in his bed was as flawed as he, but far more angry. Charlie remembered when he used to be angry all the time. Then he realized his anger, his rage, lurked just beneath the surface of his Zen armor, not gone at all, just sublimated. Relegated to a part of his psyche that said control was more important than blind fury.

How did he impart that to her? Why had he been unable to keep that fury from bursting forth in the bar? Why did she affect him so profoundly? Did she feel as strongly about him? Could two people that damaged ever hope to make a go of things?

She had put a gun to a man's head last night to keep him from getting his ass kicked. That said something, meant something, but he had no idea what.

She mumbled something in her sleep, prompting him to walk to her beside and sit beside her. Her dark hair obscured her face, and as he moved to brush it away with feather light touches of his fingers, she leaned into the warmth of his hand.

"Charlie," she whispered and his heart skipped a beat. There – that – the why was right there, in her whispered pronouncement of his name unconsciously escaping her lips; for that he would do nearly anything.

"Dani," he called to her softly. Her eyelids fluttered as she tried to wake. Then slowly the rich dark chocolate of her eyes, sleepy though they were, greeted him like a cup of warm coffee in the morning.

"Hi," she yawned at him. Gone was the possessed succubus from the night before, now she was simply Dani.

"What time is it?" she asked, sitting up suddenly, concerned at the hour.

"Better question is, what day is it," he offered with a smile.

"Funny, Crews. Move. I have to go," she tried to get up.

"No. You don't. It's our day off remember?" he offered.

Then she did and collapsed back onto the fluffy pillow.

"Reese," he began slowly, but strongly, holding her gaze. "I wanna know why you did what you did last night."

"Let me know if you figure it out," she said, throwing her arm across her eyes and feigning disinterest. Charlie didn't reply, didn't move, she wasn't even sure he was breathing, which caused her to lift her arm and stare at him. Those same blue, clear eyes looked back at her and her breath hitched again.

"Would you stop doing that?" she said sounding annoyed.

"What am I doing?" he inquired, although she was sure he knew.

"Looking at me like that," she said exasperated.

"Like what?" he answered her questioning tone with one of his own.

"Like you know how this is going to turn out," she sighed heavily.

"Do you know how this is going to turn out Reese?" he asked honestly, without an ounce of guile in his voice.

"Sure, it will go the way it always does," she somehow managed to sound sadder and farther way, although she hadn't moved. "We'll have great sex and be blissfully happy for a couple of months, until I screw it up and we both have to get new partners," she resigned herself to her pattern.

"No," he said solidly.

"No?" she sat up on her elbows and looked hard at the man sitting beside and above her. "You know something I don't?"

"Yes," he smiled. "I know how to stop being angry. Do you even remember what you are angry about anymore?" He strayed into her personal space with his hand stroking her bare shoulder.

"What?" she said distracted by the warmth of his hand on her body.

"Last night….when you put your pistol to that man's head, you weren't angry with him, you were furious with me," he told her plainly.

"I seem to remember pointing that pistol at you too last night, Crews. I was drunk. I do a lot of stupid shit when I'm drunk," she admitted.

"Then don't get drunk," he said, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

"Yeah, just don't get drunk. Why the hell didn't I think of that? Jesus Crews you can put AA out of business. I mean hell, why have twelve steps when you just need one – don't get drunk." She was pissed, really and truly pissed at him.

"Do you know how people say 'you're beautiful when you're angry'? Well, you really are, sweetheart," he remarked absently, amazed that she could be so vibrant, so alive and so thoroughly and completely furious at him.

Charlie watched as her eyes dilated, her nostrils flared and she prepared to jump into battle with him. Then he quickly leaned in and kissed her. His strong arms pinned her to the bed and she fought him for just an instant before surrendering to his kiss.

But far from being punishing like she expected, Charlie took his time; he slowed things way down and when he was certain she wouldn't bolt or wrest away from him, he released her arms to softly frame her face and kiss her with a languid thoroughness that melted the last of her resistance.

When they broke, he could have sworn she whimpered slightly, but the anger was gone. He rested his forehead against hers and laid his heart bare. "We have to figure this out because I'm in love with you."

"I know," she said quietly. She was silent for a long moment and then added, "I never counted on this."

He wanted to know what she "knew". Did she "know" that he loved her? Did she "know" they had to figure things? Did she "know" how this would end? Maybe it wouldn't end, maybe there was no end. He wanted to know but not bad enough to ask that – afraid of the answer.

"Never counted on what?" he follow the second half of her comment, stiff arming the first, more pointed issue, giving into his insecurity and desire to know if she felt it to.

"Caring so goddamned much about you Charlie," she whispered, and this time she kissed him.

He found himself lost, not there at all, lost in the feeling of kissing her, of touching her hair, her face; of drinking her breath and smelling the sweetness of her shampoo along her neckline as he bent her head back to nuzzle her throat. Before he knew it he was lying over her and they were headed some place they just couldn't go yet. Both of them wanted to go there, both of their bodies were acting on pure instinct, but Charlie knew this would be a mistake – now. This had to wait.

He sat up suddenly and almost shocked himself with the immediate loss of warmth he felt leaving her on the bed. "We can't. I want this to be special, to mean something and until we figure out how to do that – together – we can't do this," he told her, and got up and walked into the bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

**Charlie's Angel – Chapter 9** _(Thanks to my beta - Jo Taylor for making everything make sense. This is probably the last update until Christmas, so Merry Christmas everyone - and don't just hope for a peaceful New Year, do everything in your power to make it one)_

He was staring at his reflection in the mirror and cursing himself for being such an idiot when she walked in behind him. She leaned up against the wall and met his eyes in the mirror.

"Okay Crews, I'll bite" she teased "how'd you let go of all that anger?"

Charlie simply stared at her, but said nothing. She continued to demand a response in her own unique way with crossed arms, raised brows, that Reese body English and attitude, which he really thought she ought to have patented. It was another of the things Charlie loved about her. She could be so expressive without uttering a word, if one paid attention and Charlie did.

"You should write a self-help book Crews" she said tersely, getting steadily more annoyed at his refusal to engage. "Are you going to answer me?"

Charlie dropped his head and shook it. He did not want to go there, but when he looked up again, Dani had shot right past annoyed and was hurtling toward furious.

"Okay, Crews. Tell me how Zen made you a better man…cause I know it had to eat you up," she taunted. Anger came so easily to her it was like a broken in shoe, comfortable and familiar. She was wound up and headed towards mean, vicious – but it was all a defense – Dani was afraid, she feared him – feared them.

"Being sent to prison for something you didn't do? How long did the wife wait until she divorced you? Huh? Did she even wait a year? Bet you had lots of friends on the inside being a cop and all? Read somewhere you had a bunch of broken bones right? Stitches? And you just forgot all that? You're not pissed about it? Totally cool with it now? Now that you're all Zen and everything, huh?" she taunted.

God, she could really dig under his skin and she knew where his monsters lived he realized. No one can hurt you the way someone who loves you can; they know you – they own you. He locked eyes with her in the mirror. He couldn't tell her, he'd have to show her - and it would hurt to open old wounds, pour salt in there and grind it in with his palm. He dreaded what came next.

"Everybody thinks their suffering is unique," he started, "but it isn't. Your suffering is the same as mine. I feel no worse or more profoundly than you. Did it hurt more to have him die, while you watched? Or to know he loved the drugs more than he did you?" He twisted the knife hard.

The look of shock that crossed her face was one he would never forget. She was reeling from the way he laid her out so easily, knew her pain so completely. He held her there with his eyes on hers through the filter of reflected glass. It was like an optical illusion, there was no space between them.

"First you want to be mad at them, but they are gone and it's ineffectual. So there's no one to be angry with – to punish – but yourself, so you figure why not? Pick a fight with the biggest guy in the yard? Get your ass handed to you? Why not? I mean she left you, right? Must deserve it? Some times - on some days, you actually wish that they'd kill you, that you would die, but you don't. Then you think maybe it's because you need more pain, more punishment, more degradation, because maybe then you'll know why…… but you never know why….there is no why."

He watched as all the color drained from her face and it seemed only the wall held her upright, but he continued because she needed to see, she needed to know. She was not alone; her pain was his pain. But pain was not all there was.

"People just suck, Dani. People are weak, they take the easy way out, you and I included, because that's what this is – anger, drinking, sex, abuse – it's easy. It makes you feel alive, but not in any real way. Real life costs us, it means that you have to take some things on faith, that you have to open yourself up to the risk of being let down and to the possibility that you might love again and have that taken away again. I try so hard…" his voice broke as his tears came, "so hard to keep everyone at arms length so I won't have to go through that again."

He looked up to find her staring at him in the mirror with tears shining in her eyes, not for herself but for him. "Attachment causes suffering, so I vowed to not be attached to anything, not a car, not a house, not a plasma TV, not a woman…." He paused and shook his head. Then he turned around and reclined against the countertop and stared directly at her, "and then I met you."

"You, who are as broken as I. You, who have walked a season in your own personal hell and you who fights to keep the entire world at bay, and you know what? This is funny…. Because you? You - I became attached to. The one person on the planet who made it abundantly clear wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, is the woman I can't see myself living without. So, it turns out…. I wasn't able to let go at all… not of anything important…not of anything that matters. I still suffer and what hurts me most is that I can't help you – the only person on earth that has the slightest chance of ever understanding me." He dropped his head, his shoulders shook as the enormity of what they were up against seemed too much for him.

Dani Reese had been still for the better part of his rant, which strangely made perfect and complete sense to her. She was transported back to that alley, a day and half ago, when she first connected the dots, first realized he could not help trying to protect her anymore than she could him. It was all connected. They were connected. She wanted to protect Charlie Crews from that abyss that sucked at him and to do it she needed to get inside that personal bubble that held the world out, and she had to let him into her heart.

The price of entrance to that hallowed place was faith, trust and love; all of which she gave willingly to the man standing before her without a moments thought. Her heart simply leapt for her. Her anger forgotten, she walked carefully to him and stepped cautiously into his space.

"Dani don't," he cautioned.

"Shhh" she whispered. "Charlie, stop fighting me. You know you can't win," she touched her lips to his forehead. He let her embrace him and his head sunk to her neck, his tears wetting her hair.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to do this," he confided. "I can't watch you do this to yourself and have you think you are alone in it. I live there too. I know the world as an observer, I'm outside watching, but not connected and it's no life. It's a TV show, not life." He lifted his head and looked at her with those same clear blue eyes. "It's not real, Dani."

"What is real Charlie? Tell me what is real," she demanded, questioning but no longer angry. She begged him with her eyes to help her climb back toward the light and into her life again.

"Love," he said. "Love is real."


	10. Chapter 10

**Charlie's Angel – Chapter 10**

Most of that day - their day off - was spent together. Charlie insisted he could make breakfast, but succeeded in providing only freshly squeezed orange juice and something that passed for very low octane coffee.

Dani argued she could not be expected to face the day with a hangover and weak coffee, resulting in their agreement to go out for breakfast; but that synchronicity dissolved when they found themselves in a Mexican standoff at the front door to his house.

"It is my car," Charlie pointedly protested.

"Which I'm driving," was all she said, holding out her hand for the keys.

"But it's my car," he repeated in a lower somewhat sullen tone.

"Thought you weren't attached to this car, Crews?" she teased.

Charlie took a deep breath, exhaling his frustration and dropped the keys into Reese's waiting hand. Dani reached for him, partly to show her appreciation and partly because the look on his face said he needed kissing. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her, locking him in a searing kiss.

Charlie's head reeled; here he was kissing Dani Reese, in broad daylight, in his front yard - his insides bubbled like when he was a kid and drank too much soda, way too fast. It was a happy, yet slightly strange feeling. When they broke apart, he was still reaching for her as she stepped away, smiling brightly and lowering herself into the waiting car. She was everything he wanted, he realized. She drove him mad, but in a good way.

After having breakfast for lunch and downing several cups of very rich, dark, strong coffee, they departed for a long drive into the mountains to the east. As the daylight waned they took a break; Charlie quietly slicing up an apple with his ever-present knife, while they leaned against the car hood admiring the view. He offered Dani a slice of the apple, which she refused initially and later ended up asking him for, making him happy for no reason.

In the late afternoon light, Dani's hair took on a bronze cast as the red and chestnut highlights peeked out. She pushed off the car hood to leave, but Charlie lingered and drew her back to him.

"Why won't you tell me who hurt you, honey?" Charlie said, returning to his earlier line of questioning. "Was it that guy? The one from last night?" he inquired softly.

He was like a dog with a bone. He wanted something he could attack, a physical problem he could dispense justice to - with his fists, not talk. He almost needed it.

"Why is it so important for you to know?" she asked, answering his question with one of her own. Dani Reese may have feigned disinterest in Zen, but she certainly knew how to employ it - when the situation suited her. He smiled wryly at her verbal parry and appreciated that she was both an intelligent and cagey woman.

Dani was intellectually as sharp as a tack, but more than that - she had street smarts that belied her age. It spoke of hard won life experience at what Doc Westfall would have called "The School of Hard Knocks, East Yahoo, Vermont". It was all the doc would ever say when Charlie asked him where he went to school and it always made Charlie laugh when Westfall said it.

Charlie shrugged off her question, but deep down, he knew. He wanted to indulge his inner demon – vengeance. He wanted to visit pain upon the person who'd hurt her and yes, he would enjoy doing it. He had wrestled with his desire for revenge the entire time he was sequestered from the world in solitary, up there in Crescent City; he still fought that urge. Zen was his primary and best tool, but Charlie Crews had other tools.

Dani was silent for a long time, but when she answered his question it was from her heart and the response she gave him was heartbreakingly direct. "The guy may have been the instrument, but I was the one hurting myself, so if you have to be mad at someone, then it should be me." She met his eyes and did not look away.

The brilliance of her truthfulness took his breath away. It cut through him, ripping Charlie's anger to shreds, burning it away like the noon sun obliterates shadows. He wouldn't hurt her and she knew it, but he also knew what she told him was the plain, simple and absolute truth. It cost her to shoulder the blame, but it was fairly placed. He gave up his quest for someone to hurt and instead wrapped his arms around her.

"Let's not do that anymore, okay?" he whispered softly into her hair.

"No promises, other than I'll try," she grumbled into his chest.

"One day at a time?" he joked, drawing back and capturing her dark eyes.

She smirked. "Since when did you get to be such an expert on twelve steps, mister?"

"Since I became addicted to difficult women, one woman in particular," he offered.

"Who is she? Cause I'm gonna have a little talk with her," Dani joked, as he leaned in to kiss her. He stopped short of her lips and continued talking, which just annoyed her to no end.

"What would you say?" he smiled into her waiting lips.

"I'd tell her you talk too goddamned much," she kissed him, tired of waiting.

Charlie groaned as she pulled his bottom lip into her mouth and his hands, which had gravitated to her hips, pulled her tightly against him. Dani moaned in appreciation, as he gathered her closer to him and their kiss deepened.

When they broke, Charlie cupped her cheek and ran a thumb over the purple mark under her eye. "No more of this okay?" he pleaded. "Purple's not your color," he softened the demand with levity.

"Charlie," she began. His eyes widened slightly at her use of his first name. She noticed immediately. "Are you gonna do that every time I use your name?" she tried not to smile at him, but failed.

"I love it when you do that," he stroked her hair. She looked at him quizzically, prompting him to explain. "I love it when you smile, honey." He just looked at her; sure he could be content to just do that for hours.

Dani cocked her head to the side, trying to decide if he was being a smart-ass or just Charlie Crews. Internally, she decided the two things might be indistinguishable.

"Don't change the subject," she chastised him, while he idly ran his fingers up the length of her arm.

"I'm sorry. What's the subject?" he asked as he leaned in to plant small gentle kisses on her neck and was rewarded by her pulse point jumping to reach him. Her head rotated away and back to give him better access. She fairly hummed in anticipation as his hands raked lightly up her sides, tugging on her shirt.

"I forget," she said somewhat breathlessly. "Damn you Charlie," she gasped as his fingers got under her shirt and she could feel the warmth of his skin on her bare back.

"I can give you what you need," he promised, his breath hot in her ear as her eyes lost the ability to focus and her knees began to weaken. "Do you want me to give you what you need, Dani?" he inquired, knowing right now an 8.5 earthquake would not derail the train they were both riding.

Dani Reese hated feeling needy. She didn't want to desire him the way she did, and with the intensity he aroused in her. She resisted, again a slave to the desire to feel in control.

"What makes you think you know what I need?" she wrested out of his grip.

He grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her to him with a strength that surprised her. It unbalanced her and caused her to fall into his arms. He softened her fall and leaned in and locked his gaze with hers. His face was hard and his eyes a storm cloud blue gray mixture. "Oh I know, honey... trust me, I know," he promised. And she believed him.

He knew her pain so it would stand to reason he would know her pleasure. She itched to find out if this man could know her completely enough that she would need nothing and no one else. Dani was gripped with a possessiveness that she had not felt in a long time. She wanted him and she wanted to be enough for him.

It was something she had not experienced in recent years – it took her a moment to realize the hollowness of the empty stranger sex and divine the precise missing component. It was trust. She trusted Crews and that made all the difference in the world. He turned her on in ways she thought lost to her.

For all his dark and dangerous talk, which excited her, Dani knew Charlie Crews would never hurt her and never allow anyone else to – not while he drew breath and walked upright.

"I do, you know?" she told him, thinking it was important that he knew.

He stilled and looked at her, his head tilted sideways and she could almost hear him wondering. "You do what?"

"I trust you," she explained.

"You mean you love me," he said with a soft smile.

"Do I? Is that the same as love?" she wondered aloud more quietly, almost to herself.

"You can't talk to yourself. That's my thing. If both of us do it, it'll get confusing," he teased lightly.

"Do I love you?" she looked at him, suddenly intent on knowing the answer.

"That is a question only you can answer," he counseled. "But it's an important one," he cautioned, "maybe the most important one."

He watched as she twisted the puzzle of her own feelings around inside her brain, examining the different facets of their partnership, their relationship, them together.

"Dani…" he sought her attention. "It's not a question you can answer here," he tapped her temple. "That one only comes from here," his finger trailed down between her breasts stopping over her heart.

She never answered. She simply stepped away from him and headed to the passenger side of the car. "You drive," she offered and tossed him the keys.

As Charlie caught them, he realized trust was a big step for Dani, and right now he was content that she trusted him to drive them home. She had voluntarily surrendered control to him, and that was a big step for them both.


	11. Chapter 11

"I like the Zen tape," Charlie protested. "It soothes me. It would you too, if you'd let it," his voice developing a sharp edge that bothered even him. Dani's annoyed glance said she noted his discomfort and the tone his protest took on. He took a slow measured breath and released it evenly, along with his tension.

"Aren't you the one always telling me that if you meet the Buddha kill him?" she countered. He sighed heavily, knowing this argument was already lost; every argument he had with Reese he lost, Charlie thought. All but the important ones.

"I don't see how this helps," Charlie told her honestly, gesturing at the radio.

"This, Crews. This speaks to me," she said plugging the IPod into the auxiliary jack and blasting the Indie rock band 'Spoon's Got Nuffin' through the radio. She turned the volume down and added one last dig. "It would speak to you too, if you'd let it."

Charlie leaned his head back on the passenger headrest and closed his eyes as the rhythmic thump of the band's drums and bass created a sound that drove away his peace. He willed himself to relax. Control is an illusion. I don't control Reese, he thought.

Out the corner of his eye he watched as her lips twitched, hinting at a smile. She did this on purpose, he knew. She reveled in her ability to unhinge him at moments. Her desire for control was unassailable and it was something Reese was not ready to let go of yet. She drove, she always drove, because it gave her the feeling of control, but Reese was not in control, she just thought she was.

He considered their relationship, the give and take of their partnering, which now bled over from work to their home. Dani retained her apartment; another emblem of control, but most of her time now was spent with him. He thought about the way she'd permeated his life, staining his neat, clean, plain white existence with vibrant, though sometimes erratic and unmatched, colors.

The clutter that he'd been trying to avoid, and those things that evidenced his failure, was something he could live with, although he still noticed them. Dani's IPod lay on the nightstand in their bedroom with the ear buds dangling on the floor. Charlie was an ordered guy. All those years of being institutionalized has an effect on a man. He wanted things neat, orderly, uncluttered.

Dani deliberately led her life asymmetrically, almost preferring to be unbalanced. It was a challenge for him – for them. She rejected any attempt to control her, to fit her neatly in a box, but then Charlie realized people don't belong in boxes. Dani Reese definitely could not be easily categorized or labeled; she was mercurial, temperamental, stubborn and difficult and he loved her for all her flaws, sharp angles and rough spots.

More demonstrative evidence of the clutter she brought to his life lay in the other side of his massive closet, previously home to his conspiracy wall. On his side, Charlie's clothes were arranged by sleeve length and color, on evenly spaced hangers with shoes paired and squared underneath. Dani's side now housed an array of her suits and boots, sweats and sneakers. Some hung neatly, others did not. Some other, more fun, articles of Dani Reese's clothing were left to dry, draped at odd angles over furniture or in the shower, because she insisted they had to be hand washed. That part of her moving in made him smile for no particular reason.

She caught his expression and misinterpreted it for pleasure with her musical selection. "See I told you it's good, huh?"

Charlie smiled tightly and patted her hand. He might just as well have said "yes dear" like his father used to and that parallel gave him pause, but he shook it off as inconsequential. Charlie Crews was nothing like his father.

Her imprinting objects on his uncluttered life had taken some getting used to. It reminded him of a dog marking its territory; but then he considered the purple mark low on her neck, just at the collar of her shirt, where he'd placed his mark on her with his tongue and mouth last night and realized they both did that.

Sometimes perception is reality and sometimes nothing one perceives is real at all.

Charlie thought carefully about how in control of "them" Dani thought she was. He was content to let her believe she was. However, Charlie knew (and deep down on some level, Dani did too) that the important decisions, the ones that mattered were his to make - for the both of them. The day-to-day stuff, where they ate, what music they listened to, who drove, he left to her. She had those entirely, partly because she trusted him with the overarching theme that travelled under and tied their lives together now.

So he let go of his aggravation and considered the music again. She said her music spoke to her; perhaps he should listen more closely. What she said, what she saw and what she felt was important, so he tried to hear what she heard. He took the individual instruments out of the song, one by one, and appreciated the artistry it took to blend them all together. He examined the beat, the rhythm and the melody, but still - it did not speak to him. So he asked her show him what she heard, because he wanted to listen to Dani on every level. He paid attention to her always.

"I don't get what you hear," he admitted softly. "Show me why this speaks to you."

Dani turned the sound down slightly and examined him over her shades. "You're serious? How is it that you don't get this and what it says to me? Listen to the words, Crews." She repeated them in time with the singer.

_When that blood goes rattling through my veins _

_My ears start to ring I notice what matters_

_And I got nothing to lose, but darkness and shadows. _

_Got nothing to lose, but bitterness and patterns._

_When I can't find the way to reach you my love,_

_I'm just not the same, just the same _

_When I know you're watching out for me _

_I know what I'm knowing, I can see what matters_

_And I got nothing to lose, but darkness and shadows _

_Got nothing to lose, but emptiness and hang-ups_

_Oh, when I know you're watching out for me, _

_I look for what matters, and I notice what matters_

_And I got nothing to lose, but darkness and shadows _

_Got nothing to lose, but loneliness and patterns_

"Tell me you don't get that? I have nothing to lose - but my anger, bitterness and hang ups? There's never been a song written more for me, Crews." She smiled and he smiled back. "Now do you get it?"

"Yes," he said awareness dawning, it wasn't the music; it was the words.

Something is always different viewed through another's eyes, another's experience.

As much alike as they were, they were very still very different. He loved her diversity, her uniqueness, her own specific Reese tones, moods and looks. Yet, he'd almost missed what spoke to her - it was so obvious to Dani, yet completely hidden to him.

"Play it again?" he asked gently.

Dani smiled and restarted the song. It wasn't when Charlie got her that she was happiest – it was when he didn't and he still tried.


End file.
